Lord Buckethead: “I give President Troubled Dump 10 out of 10 for the transparent pursuit of a dictatorship”

If you’re looking for someone to make sense of the chaos on Earth in 2020, then look no further than Lord Buckethead. As a “semi-reformed super villain” from outer space who has stood in four British general elections since 1987 (including one against Prime Minister Boris Johnson) his unique perspective has always provided a welcome alternative to British politics, with key policies including legalising the hunting of fox hunters,
nationalising Adele, and exiling Katie Hopkins to the “Phantom Zone”.

With the world still reeling from a baffling and theatrical US election and the confusion brought on by the coronavirus pandemic, we called upon the wisdom of Lord Buckethead to help us unpack this troubling state of affairs.

Hello Lord Buckethead. How have you been keeping in these strange times?

Lord Buckethead: “It’s been a rollercoaster, thank you for asking. In February, approximately 1/12 of your solar year prior to the Americans’ awakening to the virus, I was in their tiny state of New Hampshire running for U.S. President in their Primary Election where, I am proud to say, I tied with candidate Joe Biden by winning exactly the same number of delegates that he did! My victory was short-lived for, by the Ides of March, my campaign itinerary was all but shut down by COVID and I have been working laboriously in isolation on a number of charitable projects since.”

That’s a shame. What do you make of President Donald Trump’s behaviour in making baseless claims of voter fraud to try and win back the election?

“Speaking as a semi-reformed super villain and one who should know, I give President Troubled Dump an impressive 10 out of 10 for the transparent pursuit of a dictatorship, but only a three for cleverness of execution. Turns out, the only fraud is the impotent conman himself; and what I hear from the ladies, impotent in all senses of the word. Democracy, in spite of the archaic electoral college system that undermines its purity, prevailed this time.  History has already irrevocably recorded his performance as the worst American President of all time, and my only comfort today is the near-certainty that deep down he knows it.”

• Read more: Soundtrack Of My Life – Lord Buckethead

Are you a fan of Joe Biden? How do you imagine he might perform as President?

“I enthusiastically support Joe Biden. Just the fact that he’s not a racist, science-denying, pathological liar is a step up. Unfortunately, he’s inheriting a disaster and his success will depend on everyone doing their part. When I withdrew as Presidential candidate, I gave Joe my official endorsement, which was inarguably what pushed him over the top to victory. Consequently I can now confirm rumours that he has offered to create a new Cabinet post for me, but the administration’s limited travel budget for Secretary of The Space-Time Continuum could be a deal-breaker. We shall see.”

What would you do to unite a divided nation?

“Two words: Alien invasion”

It’s pretty hairy here in the UK as well.  Any comments on how our own government have been coping of late?

“Like America, the UK has two vocal political populations who are out of control. On the one hand you have the shameless liars with self-serving political agendas who create misinformation and launch it through social media; on the other hand are the mostly well-meaning masses who consume and share it, taking no responsibility whatsoever to fact-check. Never was this more apparent to me than when I stood in your 2019 election for Prime Minister.”

Oh yes. How was that experience for you?

“Even my lighthearted campaign representing the Monster Raving Loony Party was the target of nasty lies and misleading rubbish, likely fabricated by former associates after being fired for misconduct (Hence came their rip-off version of me whom I soundly trounced on election night and gave the double-finger on live television, but I digress).  Indeed your government is coping with the pandemic far better than the U.S., but that is a low bar.”

What would you say is the most important lesson that you’ve learned in 2020?

“Fact-check, fact-check, fact-check.”

Finally, do you have any tips for staying sane during lockdown?

“Glad you asked. Yes, in fact, one of the charitable projects I’ve been working on has been designed for this purpose and will be available for free at www.lordbuckethead.co.uk.  In the meantime, my advice for staying sane during lockdown is to genuinely try to perform one random act of kindness every day. It’s strangely medicinal.  And when you’re not doing that, listen to music.”

For more information on Lord Buckethead and his upcoming memoirs, visit here.